Jokes

"Do you turn on your computer with your left hand or your right hand?"
" My right hand."
" Amazing!Most people have to use the on/off switch."

Customer: I cleaned my computer and now it doesn't work any more.
Repairman: What did you clean it with?
Customer: Soap and water.
Repairman: Don't you know you're not supposed to touch a computer with water?
Customer: Oh, it wasn't the water that caused the problem...it was the spin dryer!

Customer: I think I've got a bug in my computer.
Repairman: Does your computer make a humming noise?
Customer: Yes.
Repairman: Then it must be a humbug!

How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?
Hide their trainers

Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not ?
Son: I don't feel well
Teacher: Where don't you feel well ?
Son: In school !

Our teacher talks to herself does yours ?
Yes, but she does't realise it, she thinks we're actually listening !

What is "out of bounds" ?
An exhausted kangaroo !

What is an archaeologist ?
Someone who's career is in ruins !

What is the noisiest game ?
Squash - because you can't play it without raising a racquet

Why do birds fly south in the winter ?
Because it's too far to walk !

School Jokes

I'm not going back to school ever again
Why ever not ?
The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions !

Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her"

What are you going to be when you get out of school ?
An old man!

What did you learn in school today ?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow

Homework Excuses

I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school

Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked

I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload